For the past couple of months I’ve been on a roller coaster of twists and turns. My dad has been in and out of the hospital for almost a year. My father is very sick and I don’t know if I’m dealing with it the right way or even dealing with it at all. He has been through hell and back. He’s had almost 10 surgeries in less than a year, multiple strokes, and that’s just the surface of his health problems. He also had an above the knee leg amputation last year, and now the doctors has to do the same thing to his other leg within the next couple of days. So, I’m back and forth from my house to my parents’ house. I stay over 300 miles away from home which is not too far, but it’s not close either. Yesterday I saw his eyes opened for the first time in weeks, which thankfully I had a chance to see him on face time. My dad is my hero, I mean like he’s such a cool cat. I can’t even remember having a bad time with him, there was never a dull or down moment. It’s such a joy having him in my life. I mean like big laughs, adventures, great vacations, amazing birthdays and holidays etc. He has been there for me, even after I turned 18. The pain that he is going through is so painful for me. I cry a lot.
Is there anyone who understands? It’s so difficult. I question myself on whether I’m doing enough? When I’m at the hospital it’s hard for me to go in his room. I mostly just sit in the waiting room for hours. I question whether I should even have fun at times like this. My birthday is tomorrow, and I don’t know if it’s even right to be celebrating? I just keep praying every day, and refuse to entertain negative thoughts. I try to stay positive and believe everything will be fine; believe in Him. God has been with me through it all, and has put such amazing people in my life. I feel so blessed and confused at the same time. Kiss your love ones, talk to your loves, express your love to your love ones, take care of your love ones, and create memories with your love ones. You never know when real life is going to hit you. Happy New Year. God bless you. Thank you for listening.#family #health #prayers #strength #pain #dealingwithillness