Married, But Dating Someone Else?

I received an email from a friend the other day, and I’m going to call my friend Asia, to respect her privacy. Asia has been dating this man for almost two years. When she meet her boyfriend he was separated from his estranged wife, who was also dating someone else. Now, almost two years later the ex-wife and her boyfriend breaks up, and now the ex-wife wants to make her marriage work. Asia is now dating a man who is still technically married, and now his wife is trying to make things work with estranged husband. This woman is now blaming Asia for being the girlfriend of her ex-husband. The wife believes Asia should end the relationship and give her a chance to reconcile with her estranged husband.

Now, I told Asia that it wasn’t up to her to make that decision. Its up to her boyfriend to make that decision. Also if he decided to stay with her, he should #1, get that divorce going like yesterday. Two, let his estrange wife known she can’t disrespect Asia. Just because the wife train crashed and burned, doesn’t mean for her to come on her ex-husband train, and start a fire. I also think this man should have been filed for divorce, but I guess getting a divorce is kind of expensive. I don’t know I’ve never been married or divorced. Have you?

What would you tell Asia? What do you guys think? Have a drink and let me know. Don’t forget to check out more of Cocktails and Conversation.

#relatioships #marriage #talk #listen #advice


16 thoughts on “Married, But Dating Someone Else?

  1. Hmm 🤔

    Well Aisa is well emotionally invested..
    And I would believe the estranged husband is too…

    Big question.. is..

    Does he wants this reconciliation..

    As you said the ball ⚽️ is in his court….
    He has the decisive power…

    The wife can blow all kinds of steam.. and rage like a bull..

    But unless he thinks that after two years with aisa… the emotional bond created is not strong enough…
    And he still loves his wife…
    Then. Aisa.. will have to accept defeat…


    I don’t it’s very likely…

    So Aisa will just have to trust him and his feelings for her …
    And ignore his wife

  2. It’s 6 am so my drink is a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. Fun! So I think Asia should cut ties and find someone who deserves her. 2 years and no divorce? And why is reconciliation even a possibility? Your friend deserves better than a guy who can’t focus on her after the loyalty she sounds like she’s shown him for 2 years.
    Although, and here’s my breaking point, does he share kids with his ex? I might say he should try it again with his ex for the sake of any kids. But no going back to Asia. You walk buddy, the door closes behind you. If surviving a pandemic together hasn’t permanently cemented their relationship nothing will!

    1. Yesssssss! Thank God for the wise! I think those are very good points! And no there are no kids involved. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤this response! Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  3. Sorry…there’s an “its” in there that should be “It’s.” Another autocorrect mystery.

  4. Honestly, I’ve been in a similar scenario but never wanted my ex back. Sure, it would’ve been easy to go that route, but I would’ve been lying to myself. I didn’t want my ex, but rather the safety and security of the lifestyle, the familiarity of the person, etc.

    The key for Asia is to determine what SHE wants, and to work on herself. Its not about whether he does or doesn’t go back to his wife. It’s about what she saw in him. Why was she attracted to someone who had this level of risk? It’s easy to say that she got swept away, but the objective truth (what I call Sex Logic) is, there’s something about him and this situation which she was deeply attracted to and she needs to do the hard work on herself to figure out why.

    Yes, heartbreak is awful. Just downright awful. But is she willing to be alone, walk in the darkness, know herself, and evolve to a place where her relationship does not complicate her life, but rather complement it? It’s easy to get attached and distracted. What’s not easy is knowing yourself…all the tiny things which make up who you are…so your perspective on relationships moves from need to want.

    It’s the most painful and darkest place I’ve ever been. But looking back, I wouldn’t change those years I spent in the darkness.

    The other truth is, he has a lot of healing to do. No matter how long he and his wife have wanted the split. It’s just part of life. He must go through the same darkness to discover where his path will lead. Maybe they will wind up on the same path, maybe they won’t. They must both go inside themselves if they are ever to truly find happiness.

    1. Wow i think you just gave women hope! One of the best part of my life is when i spent time with myself. I didn’t think i would enjoy myself so much and I DID!! Thank you for your insight!! Well said. ❤

      1. Many thanks!! I love that you’ve enjoyed YOU! Keep on that path and good things are sure to come! Much love!

  5. This is his decision. I hope he realizes that she is distraught from a new break up again, and it probably internally freaking out and that is why she wants to go running back to him. Hope he see’s that and doesn’t make any rash decisions.

    As far as Asia goes, this is not her place to make any choices other than if she is happy and wants to remain in the relationship for herself.

  6. If it’s really over he won’t even consider the ex wife and he’ll do his best to get that divorce. How the BF behaves with this situation will tell Asia all she needs to know about where he sits in this potential love triangle.

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